Fashion Week: The Upper East Side Edition

Recently, a friend of mine, Marcia, came over for dinner. She and her husband walked across the park from where they live in the West Seventies.

Upon arriving, Marcia remarked, “It’s amazing when you come over here. The Eastside really is its own fashion universe!”

I asked her what on earth she meant. She replied, “Oh, c’mon. You know.”

When I protested that, indeed, I knew not of what she spake, she said, “Over here it’s just different. On the Westside you can go out in jeans or even your pajama bottoms!”

Well you can’t fool me, Marcia. I can see right through your flimsy innuendo. What you really mean is that we Upper East Siders are uptight, fussy, and preppy dressers. And you feel perfectly free to pigeon-hole three entire zip codes of your fellow New Yorkers in the most indefensible kind of stereotyping.

I bet you even think that in one single afternoon, walking around a few confined blocks with a camera, you could prove your scurrilous accusations.

Accusations, for example, that we spurn the hip for the obsessively elegant.

elegant

And favor Gloria Vanderbilt wrap-around dresses.

gloriav

That we can’t tell East Hampton from East 83rd Street, with our overly bright colors…

pink

llbean

That even our menfolk stoop to docksiders and little ducky patterns…

duckie_shorts

Or that you could find distinguished elderly gentlemen sporting pink shorts…

pink_shorts

You mean to say, my dear Marcia, that we Upper East Siders  harbor a to-the-manor born delusion. That a mild chill will send us scurrying for our English country estate Barbour coats…

barbour

Or that at a drop of rain we don outfits making us look as if we are off to fly fishing appointment.

flyfishing

As for accessories, that we believe an L.L. Bean canvas bag counts as one…

canvas-bag

And is even better in pink and green…

pink_and_green

That we would remain in this sartorially oblivious state even in Fashion Week. When the rest of the city knows better.

And, finally, that we would never, ever, appear in broad daylight in anything resembling a pajama bottom.

pajama

 

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